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Hurt Girls

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[30 Nov 2008|12:29am]

vampyre_girl13
has anyone ever deliberatly looked at a picture that makes you want to cut?? i've noticed that ive been doing that a lot, my razors arn't working anymore so i found a used shaving razor (weird i know) and took it apart. i used the top one and it worked amazingly, the blood flowed more freely and was a lot reder then usual, which was beautiful to say the least. i talk to myself more then usual as well, telling myself how pathetic and worthless i am. i think i need
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[01 Sep 2008|03:16pm]

vampyre_girl13
why do i feel like ripping open my chest and pulling out my heart?? i want to die and i want it now but i just can't do it.
2 comments|post comment

[19 Aug 2008|12:45pm]

vampyre_girl13
[ mood | sad ]

god i just want to fucking die. i hate my life. i'm deseiving my parents, i hade to change were i cut, so no one would find out i still do, i've been drawing abnormally long theses past few days, and i start school next monday, whats good about that is i don't have to wear shorts in gym, other wise people would see my cuts. i swiched to my thighs and my anckel, which is were i 'wrote' cut just deep enough that it bled a little. i need help, or just some one to talk to. 


                       -LovE jAde

10 comments|post comment

[31 Jul 2008|11:42am]

vampyre_girl13
 hi.......... i'm new. i don't know what to post, other then i cut, and i cut for a reason, ask and i'll explain if you want.
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[27 Dec 2005|11:43am]

emoxxxedger



break free... add them to your mix tape.
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[19 May 2005|09:01pm]
miz_anthropy
[ mood | crazy ]

Hi, I've never tried to find this kind of support before but I am glad I did. I am feeling the urges really bad lately, and I'm a little scared to loose all my progress. I just thought I'd say "hey".

2 comments|post comment

[25 Mar 2005|11:04am]

narcissisticelf
The other day I got caught. I woke up to get ready for work and along with everything else that's troubling me my bf decided he wanted to be a shithead. Well, long story short, he goes into one of the bedrooms and I rifle through the kitchen to find something sharp. As I'm closing one of the drawers, he comes in and catches me. I keep telling myself that I won't do it again...I guess I'm just not that strong. Ugh...I hate getting caught. It feels like such a weakness. *sigh* Just had to vent.
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[20 Mar 2005|04:34pm]

mixedfeelings23
[ mood | blank ]

Well Im leaving the community for now. Nothing is happening

2 comments|post comment

[17 Mar 2005|07:27pm]

__girly__
It seems kind of dead in here...
Well nothing's really been going on with me lately.Just school,school,and more school.I can't wait for spring break,i am SO sick of school.I seriously just...do not want to be there anymore.I'm just tired of it.Well,thats all for now,just thought I would break the silence.
2 comments|post comment

Ugh. [12 Mar 2005|09:59am]

mixedfeelings23
[ mood | thirsty ]

One of my friends just started cutting, just because some guy she met over the internet cuts, and she like thinks its the "punk" thing to do, because she is a prep who is trying to be a punk. And she was going on and on talking about it and she said she got soap on them in the shower and it burned and I said well duh thats why you dont get soap on them and then my other friend was like do you cut!? And I was like just shut up okay? and she kept going on and on. And my other friend thinks its so cool! I told her she was an idiot. Then, me and my mom were in wal-mart getting some paint, and she was like Omg! who scratched your arm!? And i was like uh I was fixing the computer and it got cut on the wood from the desk. And she goes thats kind of deep, and i was like yea stupid thing. I think she is suspecting something now. but too bad. And I kindof admitted ot my best friend that i cut, only i told him I did last year...and I dont any more...but he saw one of the cuts on my arm and was like Shame on you, so he isnt buying my story. Too bad.

2 comments|post comment

[11 Mar 2005|07:06pm]

__girly__
That community would be -> http://www.livejournal.com/community/hurting__/
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[11 Mar 2005|07:04pm]

__girly__
I hope this is ok..but the rules don't specify otherwise...

Here's a new community I made,if any of you would like more support.It's very lonely at the moment,as I said,it's new,and if you could promote my community ( where promoting is allowed ) I would appreciate it.
Thanks.
♥K
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I got caught... [11 Mar 2005|07:25pm]

tears_of_rain89
[ mood | flushed ]

I got caught... sort of... one night my friend let me borrow Pitch Black. Having seen the chronicles of Riddick on paperview with my parents I suggested we all watch it together. So we turn it on and there's a lot of bad language and violence but my little brothers down here. So dad tells him to go to bed but mom comes to his rescue. This becomes a bad scene. They turn off the video. I am royally annoyed now. I understand them not wanting him to see all that at his early age but for a child who spends the majority of his time watching TV in the upstairs playroom why did he have to come down and refuse to leave (he used my mom's support to decide he wasn't going to leave.) Again I understand his side but I am always expected to cater to him. Why did I have to turn off my movie because he didn't want to go upstairs? He always does stuff like that. He comes down at the one time you want him to go away and then feels like it's his god-given right to stay and do what he wants. Me being the older sister always has to compensate. I always have to move, give up my headphones, change my channel, ect. for him.

Well dad became irate. He yelled at me for being upset. I mean, I love my dad but I have never really been aloud to express my feelings. When I cried or pouted I was sent to my room, spanked or given sentences. The reprieve often times was to put on a happy face. That is why I repress all my emotions. And I'll admit, some of those were tempertantrums, but the majority were real. So I go up to my room. Mom's like I'll take Austin upstairs and you and dad can watch it. Dad was pissed and I was like fuck it. (I didn't actually say that or I would've gotten myself in much deeper.) So mom then goes into watch it. Litterally demanding that I turn it back on. She won't let me leave. I hate it when she does that. I become angry or dad becomes angry and we want to leave so that we can cool off and avoid a nasty fight but she physically won't let us. I was like screw it. I wanted to watch it with both of you or fuck I'll watch it by myself later.

Finally I went to my room and tore up my arm. It made me feel so much better... until dad came up to apologize. Then it really was fuck. I didn't have time to put on another shirt with long sleeves so I unlocked the door jumped into bed and rapped a blanket around my arm. He noted I was clutching it but when he said something I denied it. I'm a horrible liar. Especially since part of me wanted him to know believe it or not. You wonder if you tell if the burden will be lessened but I know from expierience life rarely works like that. I had a feeling he had been suspecting but I don't know if that's true. I tell him I'm going to take a shower (something mom was bitching at me about telling me I look like crap *sigh*). It was actually so I could clean up the blood. So he left I waited, draped some shirts over my arm (to look like after bath clothes) which all got blood on them X_x and went to take a shower. The cuts looked nasty because my arm was all caked in blood- it was merely from the smudging the blanket gave it. It really wasn't that bad. Well I put on a 3/4 sleeve bambi shirt and head down.

I think I'm in the clear but after mom goes to bed dad asks me if my arm is cut up. I say no. Again it's very hard to lie because my face is all flushed because I had been fearing he'd find out. He says he saw the blood on the blanket I had draped over my arm. I say nothing. What can I say. He seems so dissappointed. One of the reasons I'd hoped to avoid this scene- I was wracked with guilt. I felt awkward and wanted to run. To dissappear. Anything. I sever ties when I feel like that but I couldn't because I lived under his roof. So he sadly, calmy tells me to get rid of whatever implement I used. I say okay. I have wanted to quit for so long I was just... I was afraid I'd start drowning again. The blade put everything in perspective and gave me an edge. It helped me forget about what people were saying about me or what they thought of me and everything. I threw it in my trashcan. The can is in my room but guilt prevents me from going anywhere near it. I don't break promises. I want to end it. I want to be fine again. I want to learn how to swim again.

The next few days were awkward. I wanted to avoid him. Pretend none of it happened. I wanted to run. I wanted to flee. Next day when mom was in the bathroom he asked me if I'd done what he asked and I nodded. That was what I had feared. He brought it up again. I didn't want it brought up. I wanted to force myself to believe that wasn't me. I wouldn't do that. I was happy cheery, sweet, innocent. That's what I try so hard to portray. Emotions hurt people, make them angry, break ties. I don't want that.

Now everythings pretty normal. I don't feel awkward anymore. He hasn't mentioned it anymore. I haven't done it anymore.

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[10 Mar 2005|08:24pm]

__girly__
[ mood | rushed ]

I just thought i'd tell you about something that happened today...
I told my boyfriend I cut,only because he did it the other day ( he never has,until the other day) and i found out about it.His life isn't good at home sometimes,his parents fight a lot.Well,anyways, I told him today,and he took it so much better than I expected.He is the only person,besides myself,that knows about this now.My mom almost caught me once,but she sort of just shrugged it off as if it was nothing.I trust him,and i confide everything in him.Well...that's the good thing.The other thing is my parents are going back to their old ways of nagging and yelling at me for everything i say and/or do.I hate this feeling.I really,really do.I mean...i try telling my mom one little thing and i'm told to shutup. ( Then, I get in trouble for "not talking to her".I mean...COME ON!)I guess my life doesn't even begin to compare with some of your situations,but these little things can set me off majorly.
Well,with all of that off my chest,I think i'll go relax and stay out of people's way.
♥K

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..::a contest::.. [10 Mar 2005|05:59pm]

xhurtxgirlx
okay, here's the deal.

i wanna increase community participation. plus, i know you guys are talented. i want you to be proud of your community!

so, i'm announcing

the

hurtgirls design contest



basically, all you have to do is make a really cool background image for this community. the rules are common sense stuff, like don't use someone else's photos without permission, no copywritten characters/band, book, tv show names or images, etc. basically, only use your own stuff, or someone else's who gives you permission. also, remember that triggering photos should NOT be included (basically anything that goes against the community rules).

you guys all have kick ass LJ icons, so don't tell me you aren't talented! bust out the photoshop and show me your mad skillz.

your image should ideally be 8.5" X 11" and either .gif or .tiff format.

contest will be open for one month, until april 10. after the deadline, i will post all the entries to be voted on by members. then, the winning image will be integrated into the new community design!

also, i will get a really cool prize for the winner. not sure what. but it will be cool. oh yeah.

so get to it.

~S
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... [08 Mar 2005|03:06pm]

mixedfeelings23
[ mood | crushed ]

Okay. There was this guy who moved to our school around a month ago, and he got kicked out of his last school for getting into a fight and breaking the other guys nose and jaw. So he is going to court over it. His parol (sp?) came to school today and told him it's not going well and it looks like he is going to be in jail for 4 years. He goes to court tomorrow to see. I really really like him ,he is really nice and everything. And i dont want him to go to jail. Ive been crying about it since i got home from school! Life sucks.

3 comments|post comment

...new... [06 Mar 2005|12:20pm]

__girly__
[ mood | cold ]

Hey....i'm new to this community.I'm not sure how my introduction to all of you should be,so for the time being i'm just going to tell you this.You can call me K...just K.Beginning letter of my name and it's simple enough to remember. :) I would like some friends,i've had LJ's before but didn't keep them up too much when things with school became overwhelming.I'm young,but old enough to be mature...i don't know the ages of you girls,or how you are but i think i'll read through somepost and try to find out.Comments would be very much welcomed, and visit my journal sometime if you can. Well...thats all for now.
♥ K

3 comments|post comment

Ugh [02 Mar 2005|05:03pm]

mixedfeelings23
[ mood | okay ]

I got so pissed today. There are these skanky girls in my calss that totally think they are popular and crap but they are the biggest losers. And well a few weeks ago we really started to get into it and we were going to end up getting into a fight but the principal made us all agree not to fight, so we didnt. Then today if FACS class i was going through one of the text books and it sid go to page like 463! or something like that...and so my friend was like okay...but before she turned the page i was like hey thats jennyffers handwriting and shes like o great (jennyffer is one of those girls we were gonna get into it with) and it had some pic of this girl and they drew hair all over it and it said my name above it...I was like O puhlease! *Even tho it is kind of funny since both of them are like really hairy...and its really gross!...and im not...lol* But it made me so mad. Ugh Then last night and the night before my mom was chewin my ass out for nothing...and i got pissed and i was also stressing about school...so i got the scissors and cut my arm...ugh made me feel sooo much better.

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Defense Mechinism [01 Mar 2005|02:57am]

narcissisticelf
[ mood | sad ]

Long postCollapse )

2 comments|post comment

faces [28 Feb 2005|08:26pm]

xhurtxgirlx
i have been thinking about doing this for a while, and i decided to go ahead and do it.

everyone that wants to, can post a photo of herself and a short statment about the pic or themselves (optional) in a comment to this post. i just think it'd be a good way to get to know each other more.

so go for it!
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